Good Little Apprentice
by Ivy3
Summary: Obi Wan Kenobi and his new apprentice Anakin Skywalker are on their way to Coruscant to begin their training together. Obi Wan reflects on the events that took place on Naboo. POV


Good Little Apprentice

Disclaimer: I don't own SW, anyone who thinks so should go see a shrink. I make no profit from this, only berating from my mom telling me I'm on the computer too much and that she'll time limit it.

Author's note: Takes place right after TPM and possible spoilers for the JA series. Special thanx to Galahan and Wild Horse for beta reading!

Summary: Obi Wan Kenobi and his new apprentice Anakin Skywalker are on their way to Coruscant to begin their training together. Obi Wan reflects on the events that took place on Naboo. POV. 

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I'm sitting at the controls on the little vessel that will carry us to Coruscant. Home. Us being my new apprentice Anakin Skywalker and myself. I take a look at his sleeping form and sigh. He looks so peaceful and harmless lying down like that. I notice that he's shivering and put an extra blanket on him. The poor boy has been through a lot and I feel sorry for him in a way. He left his home, his mother, his life for…. What? At first it was to be trained as a Jedi by the venerable Qui Gon Jinn and now? Now he is to be trained by a brand-new and messed up Knight. I suppose that if I were in his position I'd be a tad bit disappointed. Not everyone gets to train with someone like Qui Gon. I should know! After all I've been through just to have the honor of being his padawan! I smile sadly and try to clear my thoughts, to concentrate on the journey. I decided not to put it on autopilot so that I wouldn't have enough time to think, but apparently that isn't working, so I switch to auto and sit back in my chair.

What I went through just to be his padawan….

I mean at first he wouldn't even have me. Not after what happened with Xanatos, his former apprentice. I suppose having your student turn to the dark side could make a person bitter and untrusting…

Force knows he has been! Not willing to open up to me at all…

But it all got better. These past few years I really felt like he trusted me, like I was more than an apprentice to him, like he was more than just a master to me, he was my father. In every way save for biological that was true.

__

So how could you do this to me?

I tried to brush the bitter thoughts away, but they kept rushing back.

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How could you dismiss me?

I remember how I felt, standing there in front of the council hearing my master saying he wants a different padawan! Sure he excused it that I was ready for knighthood, but it still burnt. And it still does.

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Why?

Why did you suddenly hate me so much you wanted someone else? What did I do? I thought I behaved mostly like a good little apprentice, trying to please you all the time. I always was the good little apprentice.

__

Not always.

Is that why? Because of Melida/Daan? I thought you forgave me! I guess I was wrong. I guess you never trusted me again after that… 

Is this your payback? Abandoning me? Did you dismiss me in front of the council to hurt me like I hurt you? If that's really it then you succeeded. 

__

You hurt me.

What a naive fool I was! When I first laid eyes on that boy I thought you decided to pick up another pathetic life form. I should have seen it. The way you kept bragging about his midi-chlorian count! I should have realized all you wanted was to be the ''Chosen One's" master! Why should you settle for an ungrateful, headstrong, and stubborn apprentice when you can be the master of the chosen one! We both know you deserve better than how I treated you, deserve better than me.

I swallow back the tears that threaten to invade my eyes. No, I will not cry, never again.

You were positive you'd train him so badly… Must have been a shock lying there on the floor, realizing you were dying. Realizing you'd never get that honor of training the chosen one after all.

And what were the last words of my beloved master, to whom I dedicated my life to and I would die for him? What was the topic of the last breath of the only father I ever knew?

__

About him.

You didn't tell me how much you love me, or you'll always be with me, or words of comfort or anything soothing. There weren't any 'meaningful' last words to me about becoming one with the Force. No, your last dying words were forcing me to promise I'd train Anakin. 

YOUR LAST WORDS WERE ABOUT HIM!

How did he get to you so much? Is it because he's the chosen one? I saw the way you looked at him, that spark in your eyes when you talked about how you'd train him, the chuckle at his curiosity. You cared for him deeply, perhaps even loved him as a child. Which is more than I can say about how you feel for me.

You just met the brat and already you felt so proud of him! You showed him more tenderness and gentleness than I remember you showing me. Was taking me a mistake? When you met Anakin, did you regret taking me as a Padawan? Or taking me back after I betrayed you? I bet Anakin would never have disappointed you, like I have.

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Why did you have to die and leave me alone?

I'm not ready! No matter what you think! I only said so because you expected me to say that, because I'm expected to always side with you. Like a good little padawan. I'm too young! There was still so much you could teach me, Master! A few days ago I came to Naboo as your apprentice and now I'm leaving with one of my own! What if he's too much? What if I fail him? And in the process fail you?

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What if the council's right?

What if he is dangerous? There's nothing I can do. All I can do is hope and pray to the force that they're wrong, that I'm wrong and that you were right. That he will bring balance to the force. But uneasiness creeps through my veins and into the pit of my heart. There's something dark in this boy…. Like a shadow hovering over his head, over his force signature. A shadow that will destroy us all.

'Don't center on your anxieties,' you would always say. I shake my head and glance once more at the angelic form sleeping soundlessly and dismiss those thoughts. He can't be evil… Can he?

It doesn't matter, because I gave you my word and I won't go back on it. Not ever. I'll stay loyal to you, even though you betrayed me. I WILL train this boy to the best of my abilities. He WILL be a Jedi, like I promised him.

__

I'll do it because like always, I'm a good little apprentice.

-END-


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